Anxiety can take on many different forms in a person’s life. For me it took the form of a relentless need for perfection. I never allowed myself to be truly pleased with who I was or what I had accomplished. I expected myself to be able to do the un-doable, in spite of loved ones reassurance and praise for what I had already achieved. I struggled with this throughout most of my childhood unaware that the panic and pressure I felt came primarily from inside my own mind. It was in college that I began to see a therapist. As I met with her, I felt like I was finally able to see. My eyes were open and I found that I was my own tormentor. I was constantly dissatisfied with myself or on the edge of melting down under the pressure of my perfectionistic, hyper critical mind. That mind would be kind and understanding to others but then turn its ugly head toward me and methodically pick me apart.
Throughout the next years I sporadically attended therapy, talked, read and learned. It was during this time, I came to my second understanding of myself and emotional health. It is that: You hold all that you need inside yourself to heal and to grow. I had been told this before, but being told something and truly coming to believe it yourself are two very different things. Therapists, my parents, friends, and teachers had been planting the seeds of knowledge for the time when I was able to fully believe and accept this fact. I was enough. I was not only my own tormentor but also my own savior.
With new revelations about myself and emotional health, the real work began and will likely continue for my whole life. Change is a hard, diligent and inspiring practice. It requires the experience of both triumphs and setbacks. It asks you to radically accept yourself for who you are in that present moment, while simultaneously reaching towards a better you. In order to do this you must have a safe secure place, where you can openly and honestly explore your true self without fear of judgement or rejection. That is a pillar on which my therapeutic method stands. Being a safe person, who suggests and does not demand. A person who will reflect and not judge. I will always be genuine with you, in hopes that you will be able to be genuine with me, but more importantly with yourself. I am honored to be able to work with the many steely strong and beautifully flawed people I have met as a therapist. And I remain steadfast in my belief that: You hold all that you need inside yourself to heal and to grow.
Throughout the next years I sporadically attended therapy, talked, read and learned. It was during this time, I came to my second understanding of myself and emotional health. It is that: You hold all that you need inside yourself to heal and to grow. I had been told this before, but being told something and truly coming to believe it yourself are two very different things. Therapists, my parents, friends, and teachers had been planting the seeds of knowledge for the time when I was able to fully believe and accept this fact. I was enough. I was not only my own tormentor but also my own savior.
With new revelations about myself and emotional health, the real work began and will likely continue for my whole life. Change is a hard, diligent and inspiring practice. It requires the experience of both triumphs and setbacks. It asks you to radically accept yourself for who you are in that present moment, while simultaneously reaching towards a better you. In order to do this you must have a safe secure place, where you can openly and honestly explore your true self without fear of judgement or rejection. That is a pillar on which my therapeutic method stands. Being a safe person, who suggests and does not demand. A person who will reflect and not judge. I will always be genuine with you, in hopes that you will be able to be genuine with me, but more importantly with yourself. I am honored to be able to work with the many steely strong and beautifully flawed people I have met as a therapist. And I remain steadfast in my belief that: You hold all that you need inside yourself to heal and to grow.