WAGE Center's Her-Story

I didn't start out with the intention of creating a female only practice. There was a series of events that led to its development. None of which I had planned. If you would have told me that I would become the face for women and girls empowerment, I would have said you must be crazy. I grew up very insecure and unsure of who I was. I was far from the ideal girl or woman. All I wanted was to be accepted and loved for who I was. But that seemed impossible. What I spent much of my life doing instead, was trying to become someone that was acceptable and loveable.

During my childhood, I experienced significant hyperactivity and anxiety. I often felt out of place compared to other girls and struggled with feelings of awkwardness and insecurity, leading to a sense of invisibility. Over time, my anxiety escalated, resulting in severe and debilitating panic attacks. Consequently, my life became predominantly focused on managing these fears and anxieties.  I found no other option but to avoid the situations that triggered my fears. The anxiety felt like an oppressive weight on my chest, severely impacting my social interactions and self-esteem. I experienced significant depression, feeling both helpless and broken. I became overly concerned about my appearance, striving for perfection as it was the only aspect I felt I could control. This led to the development of an eating disorder, which I struggled with for years before getting better.

Therapy was introduced to me during my teenage years, but I wasn't ready for change at that time. As an adult, I independently sought assistance by reading self-help books, working with various therapists, and attending support groups, retreats, and seminars. Some approaches were beneficial, while others were not. However, each experience provided new insights, and I continued to learn about myself. The healing process was challenging, and included numerous obstacles and dead ends. Despite moments of discouragement, an inner voice urged me to keep trying. 

Over time, I began to transform and recover. I gradually overcame my anxiety by taking incremental steps. I accomplished tasks that I previously believed were beyond my capability. I diligently practiced various techniques I had acquired over the years and continuously built upon those that proved effective.  Over time, the depression subsided, leading to physical and emotional health. During the recovery process, there were various losses, setbacks, and perceived failures. However, a strong support system was built, and personal tools were developed to manage such difficulties. 

In 2006, I was in an unhappy marriage and had 2 young children. I decided to start graduate school because I wanted more. I was so excited to pursue my dream of becoming a substance abuse counselor. I fell in love with trauma work and was chosen to participate in a unique placement that incorporated both trauma healing and substance abuse. It felt like all eyes were upon me and I couldn't fail. The pressure started building, along with my anxiety with having to do so many new things at once. During this time, the panic attacks that had been dormant for years, re-surfaced. I could barely function, yet I continued to work, attend school and be a wife and mom. I came very close to dropping out of school but using my resources, I made it through and finished graduate school in 2008.

After becoming a therapist, I worked in multiple settings and with various populations. I continually observed commonalities among female clients. Each client exhibited notable strength and resilience, though these were often apparent to them. There was a significant pattern of feelings of inadequacy, stemming from perceived failures to be grateful or positive enough.  There were frequent instances where female clients felt guilty when they believed they were not meeting the expectations of their roles, such as being a mother, partner, child, or employee. Additionally, there were patterns of identifying with mental health issues like anxiety, depression, trauma, and other behaviors they perceived as unhealthy. Women often viewed themselves through a critical lens and felt inadequate. This was what led them to seeking treatment.

These patterns were also observed, to a slightly lesser extent, among adolescent females. They experienced the burden of unmet expectations, primarily in academics and sports, which affected their relationships with parents, siblings, friends, and partners. The pressure from these expectations resulted in anxiety, depression, behavioral issues, substance use, and self-harm.  Women and girls experienced similar internal struggles that contributed to their reasons for seeking help. They often exhibited perfectionism, self-criticism, and lacked self-compassion. A noticeable change occurred in both, once their perspectives shifted. They gradually allowed themselves to make mistakes, accept imperfection, and understand it was not necessary to be happy all the time. They began to embrace and make room for all of their emotions.

It became clear that women and girls held the intrinsic capability to heal themselves internally and overcome past trauma. They simply needed compassionate guidance and support to unlock this inner potential.  My personal journey combined with the gift of walking along with other females on their path, made me aware of some key aspects for healing. When we accept all parts of ourselves and believe that our challenges shape us but do not define us, healing becomes inevitable. When we cease to perceive ourselves as the source of our problems, we gain the freedom and autonomy to construct a life of our choosing. Healing is born from hope, and hope nurtures unlimited potential for growth. Women and Girls Empowerment Center was founded and built on these truths and was created to be a safe space for women and girls to heal, hope and grow.